Thursday, 30 April 2009

A new addition to Chemistry's Periodic Table

The new element, Governmentium (Gv),has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons,and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.


Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact.


A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a norma lhalf-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of th eassistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.


In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.


This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.


This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element thatradiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.


Ed. I read this sometime somewhere and it seemed to me that it could amuse some of my readers sorry I have no idea who wrote it.

1 comment:

  1. Very clever, very witty and oh so true. I like it.

    ReplyDelete

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