Thursday 30 April 2009

A new addition to Chemistry's Periodic Table

The new element, Governmentium (Gv),has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons,and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.


Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact.


A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a norma lhalf-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of th eassistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.


In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.


This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.


This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element thatradiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.


Ed. I read this sometime somewhere and it seemed to me that it could amuse some of my readers sorry I have no idea who wrote it.

1 comment:

Comments, since I started writing this blog in 2007 the way the internet works has changed a lot, comments and dialogue here were once viable in an open and anonymous sense. Now if you comment here I will only allow the comment if it seems to make sense and be related to what the post is about. I link the majority of my posts to the main local Facebook groups and to my Facebook account, “Michael Child” I guess the main Ramsgate Facebook group is We Love Ramsgate. For the most part the comments and dialogue related to the posts here goes on there. As for the rest of it, well this blog handles images better than Facebook, which is why I don’t post directly to my Facebook account, although if I take a lot of photos I am so lazy that I paste them directly from my camera card to my bookshop website and put a link on this blog.